I am a Warrior

Being a chiropractor, I talk to clients about how their body moves and how to listen to their body when it whispers instead of when it screams. I show clients exercises to strengthen postural muscles to help hold adjustments longer. One thing I don’t talk about much is making sure we are listening to our whole body, not just our muscles and bones. I’m talking about our mind.

Our mind is a magical place. It can take us to our favorite spot in an instant. We can remember moments like they were yesterday. Sometimes our mind gets muddied up and we can’t seem to get it clean.

Many people deal with depression and anxiety, probably more than we think and know. 1 in every 5 people deal with depression. I have dealt with depression for most of my life. Growing up people just thought I was oversensitive, and maybe I was. My oversensitivity most likely came partly from my depression. My days have gotten easier, but I still deal with depression daily.

Life gets difficult and it becomes hard for someone to open up to another human being about what is troubling their mind. My thoughts are not always rational, to someone else, onto why I am feeling the way I am or the reason why I left the room abruptly or the reason why the comment was taken personally, but they are rational to me. Situations can be difficult, and it will trigger for me an anxious moment before entering a room or event. It takes a while to come down from the adrenaline that anxiety gives me and in turn ramps up my thoughts of how people are perceiving me in that moment which only ends up ramping up my depression.

I was able to handle it to a point on my own. It does get pretty lonely when you are dealing with something that you really don’t know how to deal with and most others believe all you need to do it calm down and get over it. I decided after many years of doing it alone that I needed and wanted help.  I have always been the strong little girl that could do anything for everyone. That little girl was getting tired and I needed to let her rest. That’s when I decided to open up to someone who understands, who gets it, who can see my train of thought. That’s when I decided to go to a therapist.

A lot of things happened in a short amount of time for me and I had no idea how to deal with it all. I wanted to just stay at home in my bed with my dog and hide from the world, but that doesn’t help anyone, especially me. Some days walking into that office is so hard and the last thing I want to do but I know I can’t do this alone anymore. My therapist and I have gone through my muddy mind and started washing it clean together. The past six months with my therapist have truly been life changing. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad moments and some of those moments turn to days but it’s getting better. I am getting better. I have more good days then bad now and most importantly I have seen a change in me that I have wanted for a long time. Not a change for better but a change to who I am suppose to be. That strong little girl has made me into the woman that I am and strive to be everyday. Now she can finally rest because I know I am in control. In the end this is what I needed, someone to hear my voice and speak my language. Someone to tell me it’s okay to have these feelings and that I’m not less than because of them.

I am a Warrior because I have made it through yesterday and all the dark days before.
I am Enough for this world.
I am 1 in 5.

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